Nostalgia

Today I miss London. It's been two too short years since I ventured over the pond and began the most exciting four months of my life to date. All at once, thoughts of BUNAC and living in England for a year are drifting around my nostalgic brain. But it could never be the same. No theatre classes, no study center, and most importantly, none of the same wonderful people that made it so spectacular in the first place. That chapter of my life is finished, and I'm having difficulty swallowing that.

When I really think back, it wasn't as if life were perfect in London like my memories are attempting to make me believe. I was homesick. I missed my family, my Sergio, my cat. Prices were outrageous. I think what I'm really pining for are my friends. We're all scattering across the U.S., starting our adult lives.

I came to Chicago completely alone. Sergio was in Virginia for my first two months and everyone else I had met maybe once or twice before. It was terrifying. I'm notoriously shy and the task of having to make friends completely on my own was daunting. But I did it. I'm pretty sure that most people even like me, and I like them. I've learned over the years that there is no good that comes from being catty even if someone is snarky to you. It doesn't make you feel better. I try to utilise that understanding as frequently as possible.

I wish my old friends could come to Chicago, but I know we all have our hopes and dreams. I think that despite our communications failing and our connections fading that I'll still have a couch to sleep on in pretty much every major US city for a very long time. I think the good that's come out of Facebook is that you feel connected even if you haven't spoken in years. I think that's a great thing.

So I'm going to smile and hold my head up high because I'm in Chicago and I know wonderful people! I've met my goals. The time has come to set new ones and move forward, only rarely stealing a glance in the rear view mirror.